My girlfriend, with huge help from her husband and men friends, completed an enormous project fired by Spirit to create a huge Native American meeting tent. They finished it just before we all arrived for the first New Moon Ceremony in it. I was so honored to be a part of all of this from start to finish. The enclosure is fabulous!
When I stepped into the tent for the ceremony and saw the five fireplace settings it dawned on my that we were having wood fires inside the tent and I internally started my journey of the evening in judgment of myself because I "should" have thought that was what was going to happen. I am very allergic to smoke (causes bronchitis and sinus infections for me). Why didn't I think of that???? Here I am with all these friends celebrating the New Moon and my friends huge accomplishment the magnitude of which no one but her truly understands. So I kept asking my body is it OK to stay?? I kept getting you will be alright so I stayed and I was in the present moment of being the one taking care of myself and also listening for what I was to bring to the ceremony whatever that might be.
As we lit more and more fires I got more nervous and kept asking is it OK and getting you are fine. We shared around the final center fire while all fires were burning and I felt inspired to chant the Native American song "O Great Spirit" and thought others would join in but they did not. I was touched my lungs clearness in the singing and the deep soul sound I felt in my voice. It was pretty much like a miracle to me being the smoke that was now filling the tent.
I was also internally connecting to being of Cherokee heritage sometime back in my family tree and being very present to that piece energetically. Knowing that the New Moon is the seeding energy time for whatever we desire to create during this Moon cycle I was in seeding mode too.
The smoke got to be too much for me and told Annie I had to leave and my husband left with me. We went back to the house and waited for everyone to return. Their return was full of fun to have them back and they were checking in with me to see how I was and I, embarrassed, intended to receive their loving.
As I was talking with three of the women they said they had expected me to bring in the Goddess at the ceremony. I was shocked at this revelation of their expectations not being met. Actually I had no idea they were expecting anything except loving that I was there.
My ego is now bent out of shape and my stories are walking all over me about not being seen and appreciated. I even made an intention during the ceremony to take off my invisibility cloak. I thought to myself, "I AM the Goddess", my mere Presence is bringing her in as well as their Presence and the men's Presence, especially when there is even ONE person aware and intending that. As the Goddess, anything I say or do is bringing her in automatically as with everyone present. The Goddess was brought in completely in full POWER. My ego is angry and quite put out at not being appreciated for the outward input I also gave and the not appreciating the gift of love and honoring to keep my body in such a dangerous place for me which I told myself was for them (but in reality it was for me to protect myself from further embarrassment having to leave). I know all of this is of my own making and I am definitely NOT a victim. I am looking through a mirror at myself and as I share this the laughter is rising up from the trickster :)
The Goddess in me now needs to be the Primal Goddess and the Muse and laugh and dance the energy of anger, ego, hurt and then freedom and loving myself into the light. I will also use the Alchemical Goddess tool of the peacock feather to neutralize any poison I would use against myself. The Lady of Communion archetypal energy will work nicely in joining anew with my friends and in any conversation I might come up with during my shape shifting creativity's. My Goddess you are such a plethora of wonderful miraculous , useful energies!!
When I stepped into the tent for the ceremony and saw the five fireplace settings it dawned on my that we were having wood fires inside the tent and I internally started my journey of the evening in judgment of myself because I "should" have thought that was what was going to happen. I am very allergic to smoke (causes bronchitis and sinus infections for me). Why didn't I think of that???? Here I am with all these friends celebrating the New Moon and my friends huge accomplishment the magnitude of which no one but her truly understands. So I kept asking my body is it OK to stay?? I kept getting you will be alright so I stayed and I was in the present moment of being the one taking care of myself and also listening for what I was to bring to the ceremony whatever that might be.
As we lit more and more fires I got more nervous and kept asking is it OK and getting you are fine. We shared around the final center fire while all fires were burning and I felt inspired to chant the Native American song "O Great Spirit" and thought others would join in but they did not. I was touched my lungs clearness in the singing and the deep soul sound I felt in my voice. It was pretty much like a miracle to me being the smoke that was now filling the tent.
I was also internally connecting to being of Cherokee heritage sometime back in my family tree and being very present to that piece energetically. Knowing that the New Moon is the seeding energy time for whatever we desire to create during this Moon cycle I was in seeding mode too.
The smoke got to be too much for me and told Annie I had to leave and my husband left with me. We went back to the house and waited for everyone to return. Their return was full of fun to have them back and they were checking in with me to see how I was and I, embarrassed, intended to receive their loving.
As I was talking with three of the women they said they had expected me to bring in the Goddess at the ceremony. I was shocked at this revelation of their expectations not being met. Actually I had no idea they were expecting anything except loving that I was there.
My ego is now bent out of shape and my stories are walking all over me about not being seen and appreciated. I even made an intention during the ceremony to take off my invisibility cloak. I thought to myself, "I AM the Goddess", my mere Presence is bringing her in as well as their Presence and the men's Presence, especially when there is even ONE person aware and intending that. As the Goddess, anything I say or do is bringing her in automatically as with everyone present. The Goddess was brought in completely in full POWER. My ego is angry and quite put out at not being appreciated for the outward input I also gave and the not appreciating the gift of love and honoring to keep my body in such a dangerous place for me which I told myself was for them (but in reality it was for me to protect myself from further embarrassment having to leave). I know all of this is of my own making and I am definitely NOT a victim. I am looking through a mirror at myself and as I share this the laughter is rising up from the trickster :)
The Goddess in me now needs to be the Primal Goddess and the Muse and laugh and dance the energy of anger, ego, hurt and then freedom and loving myself into the light. I will also use the Alchemical Goddess tool of the peacock feather to neutralize any poison I would use against myself. The Lady of Communion archetypal energy will work nicely in joining anew with my friends and in any conversation I might come up with during my shape shifting creativity's. My Goddess you are such a plethora of wonderful miraculous , useful energies!!
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